Boundaries

Today is July the 5th and it has been a long while since I've been on blogger. I've been posting a lot on posterous which is really nice. Visit Sirmykelaflar.posterous.com to see some of my other blogs that I've written.

In light of not being on blogger, I've still been evaluating somethings going on withing my life. One thing that I found that I needed a better control on are my Boundaries. So I decided to go grasp freedom and get the book and study guide entitled Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. In this book, I was introduced to a character by the name of Sherrie. Sherrie always made time for everyone else, and put off her own responsibilities just to save face for others. Sherrie also made up excuses to try to make herself feel better. For example, "My mom needs me, she's lonely and I'm glad I could help cheer her up". However, Sherrie's mom would visit and leave depressed and bring down Sherrie's mood too. I think the most hurtful part of Sherrie's life is the lack of support from her husband when she would tell him about her feelings. They have a one sided relationship, he could always bear his will on her but would feel imposed if she disagreed or spoke on how she felt. I was reminded of when I used to be the same way with others, allowing them to impose but misunderstood and ignored when it was my turn. But I said "Never Again".

I know how to say "No". I do it very well. But I realized that I have had a boundaries problem when I can classify people into 2 areas of my life. The two areas are "I Love you" or "Go to Hell" figuratively speaking. As I read each chapter, and go through this book, I'm asked questions about areas in my life that I don't like to deal with. But how many of you know that true healing begins at those moments? I'm a witness that it does. I'm learning how to live a life that exemplifies the love of Christ with Boundaries in mind. I want to be that gate that lets out the bad and lets in good because that is not only what I deserve but it is also what I will need to be.

I only encourage those who are ready for life change to pick up this book. Boundaries is not for the weak or the cowardly. This book has examples of people that you may find yourself actually living and dealing with on a day to day basis. Does this book want you to have resentment toward them? NO. But the book does teach you how to be prepared to deal with your Boundaries and how to teach people where they stop and where you begin!